 Private study independently confirms diuretic
nature of caffeine
The results of a recent study
appear to corroborate the century-old scientific finding that caffeine acts
as a diuretic in the digestive process. The privately funded
research, undertaken by long-haul truck driver Melvin Blanchard,
included qualitative testimonial surveys as well as human-subjects
testing.
Polling
the clientelle of East Memphis,
Tennessee's east side Waffle House (the one just off I40 at exit 20 not
the one on Varnavas Dr. ... or any of the ones in either Ellendale,
Germantown or Bartlett) Blanchard noticed that those patrons
who enjoyed at least three cups of coffee with their breakfast seemed
more likely to experience a relatively heightened urge to urinate
within the first 50 miles of their post-breakfast drive than those
diners who consumed coffee in lesser quantities or not at
all.
While Blanchard's simple initial observation
mundanely
linked fluid volume intake with temporally adjacent urination demands,
a second round of surveys during a lunch stop later that day at the McDonalds just west of
Texarkana, Arkansas helped him
refine his
hypothesis. He discovered that those who sated their mid-day
thirst with Coca-cola seemed to experience urinary demands during the
next leg of their drive significantly in excess of those who washed
down their lunches with similar amounts of Orange-Ade.
With
this added evidence Blanchard concluded that the excessive bladder
activity or at least its psychological impluse, must be triggered by
some ingredient differential between Coca-cola and
Orange-Ade. Comparison with the previous Waffle House
coffee-drinker data proved invaluable by further winnowing the lengthy
list of residual suspects to just one: caffeine.
The
final stage in Blanchard's study involved a rather fortuitous refueling
stop at a Caseys off I30 west of Dallas, Texas where he inadvertently
purchased Coke Classic in the place of his usual evening refreshment, Caffeine Free
Coke. “Not yet 20 miles outside Dallas I had to
piss so bad I had no choice but to pull off on the shoulder.
After I got back in my cab I saw my mistake and suddenly it just
clicked.”
When asked if he was familiar with the work of Dr. Julius Bronne and others from the late-19th century demonstrating caffeine's diuretic action, Blanchard, who said
he has never kept up on nutrition science research, responded, “Dire-what?”
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