Town bans cussing|HHWT-News

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Goddamn California town fucking bans cursing

(South fucking Pasadena, CA) The goddamn City Council of this peaceful fucking community, which flanks shitty Los Angeles, passed a dumb-ass proclamation Wednesday declaring the first fucking week in March as No Cussing Week. Though not legally fucking enforceable, the shit ban stays fucking active through Friday and will be an annual fucking fixture in the shitty city's crappy civic calendar.

This is not the first fucking time a city attempted to ban foul fucking language, but South Pasadena's goddamn ban is different for one fucking reason: it was instigated by a little 14-year-old shit. "My mom and dad always taught me good morals, good values, and not cussing was one of them," said Hank Macky, the fucking founder of South Pasadena High School's No Cussing Club. The goddamn club, which now has chapters in other fucking states and countries, claims over 10,000 goddamn members on its website for shit's sake.

Asshole mayor Michael Cacciotti sees the goddamn ban as an attempt to stay ever declining standards of fucking politeness, saying, "This [shitty] proclamation provides us a [goddamn] reminder to be more [fucking] civil, to [fucking] elevate the [goddamn] level of [fucking] discourse [for fuck's sake]."

The goddamn mayor isn't fucking surprised where the germ for this shitty movement fucking began, noting the city's goddamn history of fucking eschewing unbecoming fucking behavior. In the goddamn 1880's South Pasadena's fucking residents voted to split off from their more fucking populous neighbor to the goddamn north citing unease with Pasadena's fucking shit-bird saloon trade.

Though most of the shitty city's fucking residents fucking applaud the goddamn ban, others fucking feel it is fucking misguided and goddamn closed fucking minded. Asshole tavern operator Dirk “Attila” Atilaski, fucking owner of the fucking shitty local fucking bar “Hun's Hideout,” is fucking against the goddamn fucking ban.

“Arguments of infringement on constitutionally protected rights to free speech and expression aside, cursing is one of the most descriptive and visceral forms of verbal communication in which humans engage. Imagine the tragic and senseless loss to our collective linguistic experience if henceforth I were civically compelled to forbid my patrons from needlessly cussing in a boisterous and colorful manner. A sad state of affairs that would be indeed.”