 Opinion: Flotsam or Jetsam?
Flotsam
There
is no doubt in my mind that flotsam is more desirable than
jetsam. After all, jetsam is composed of what? Things not
wanted
by others, that's what! Whereas flotsam is not necessarily
that
at all. In fact it could include things which were highly
valued
by others at one time. Another important thing which must not
be
overlooked is that flotsam is much easier to come by, because, well,
it's floating. Jetsam need not be and in fact probably isn't
floating if those responsible for it were of sound mind at the moment
of its creation; though I'll agree that that's not necessarily a wise
assumption.
Jetsam
Oh,
please! 'Jetsam's not wanted by others?' That's
such
spin! The truth is jetsam may have been wanted very much by
others but it was simply too heavy to keep. After all, what's
going off the listing cruise ship first, the $50,000 Steinway or the
dirty linen cart? That which is expendable in a dire
situation is
not necessarily unwanted at all other times. In fact, I will
make
the argument, by virtue of the fact that jetsam is, on average, heavier
than flotsam, that it is also more valuable. Think 'cars and
washing machines' versus 'stuffed animals and corduroy pants'; Across
which would you be more fortuitous to stumble? The answer is
clearly jetsam all the way.
Flotsam
Well
you're not bloody likely to stumble across a Whirlpool super efficiency
top-loader or a Toyota RAV-4 while combing the beach now, are
you? The average Joe would have to take diving lessons and
invest
in expensive scuba gear to find high-end jetsam. Even then,
after
restoration expenses, Joe would be pretty lucky just to break even on
jetsam alone. Flotsam, on the other hand, comes in on the
tide. No charge for delivery. Heck! Most
of the time
its ready to use or sell right after being plucked from the
sand.
Plus, who would even want
the emotional baggage associated with jetsam? I mean, someone
may
have drown after tossing that sewing machine overboard. How
are
you going to hem your husband's pants or finish a quilt with that
kind of history? It would be a bear to sell, ethically
anyway.
Jetsam
And the same karma isn't attached to
most flotsam? At least the creation of jetsam may have
resulted in
someone's life being saved.
Flotsam most certainly did
not.
But back to your earlier point; plenty of jetsam can be massive, yet
buoyant. Steamer trunks, for instance, while certainly packed
full of desirable objects, might also be the first things thrown
overboard in a disaster. Or entire
shipping containers off the deck of a freighter. Both will
float
until the cows come home.
Flotsam
Steamer trunks?!
What is this, the 19th century? Please! And if a
freighter
dumps its cargo it's not finders-keepers. You think G.E. is
going to write off 1,200 gourmet toaster ovens? They round up
all that
stuff after the storm blows over. No sir. Any
remaining
jetsam is not recovered later for one very good reason: Nobody cared
enough about it to bother.
Jetsam
So
what? Flotsam's made up of mostly junk anyway. Bits
of
wood, life preservers, not to mention dead bodies for heaven's
sake. None of that stuff sounds in the least bit desirable to
me
or anyone with whom I care to associate. But to each his own I guess.
Flotsam
Well
it didn't take long for you to go dirty did it? You're twisting my
words and you know it. Of course I never meant that dead
bodies
were desirable. I'm arguing generalities. By and
large,
taking into consideration ease of procurement, flotsam is more
desirable, on
average, than jetsam.
Jetsam
I
will agree with that very narrow statement, but you must agree that
there is much greater potential in jetsam if one is willing to invest a
little more effort than simply a morning stroll along the coast.
Flotsam
I've
already said as much.
Jetsam
Very
well then. Jetsam it is.
Flotsam
Flotsam,
if you please.
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