 Op-Ed Contributor: "Someone who enjoys walking just emailed you!"
She has four photos! You should check them out!
Look how much you have in common: - You both enjoy walking.
- You are both interested in wine tasting.
- You both enjoy playing/watching sports.
- Her favorite color is also blue.
- You are both interested in cooking.
- You are both from a large family.
- Both of you are social troglodytes desperate to find someone, anyone, who will tolerate your vacuous intellects, frequently insouciant behavior and wretched personal hygiene.
- Neither of you has the faintest notion about how to sexually satisfy the other, nor do either of you realize it.
- You
both have cold feet. That's not to say either of you is
apprehensive. You both literally have frigidly cold feet, as
well as sharp, unkept toenails.
- Both of you are also clueless when it comes to changing a flat, using jumper cables or correcting a fishtailing car.
- Both of you have hideous genital disfigurements and complexions as leathery as a peat bog mummy.
- You're both balding and pear-shaped with weak ankles.
- You're
both legally blind in one eye from drive-by pellet gun
shootings; you in the right eye, and she the left.
- Both
of you breathe humidity on your fingers before you empty the lint trap
from the dryer, and then you both save the lint for God knows
what!
- You both wear adult diapers, not
as a result of any fetish or medical condition or for space travel, but
out of simple sloth.
- You are both closely related.
- Both
of you claim to be sincere, religious and environmentally conscious and
yet the two of you have both fake-smiled upon accepting Gideon bibles
on the street only to immediately and thoughtlessly discard them down
the next sewer grate you pass.
She's interested in you!
Women like to be emailed! Subscribe now and email her back!
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