Today's Weather:
Global warming is a vast hoax perpetrated on Earth's people by the liberal, God-hating scientific community... which means your pet ferret, Toro, is sweating profusely for some other reason.
| Future-cast
A look at the weather
for days not yet come to pass.
Next Monday:
Our Future-Cast Doppler Radar indicates love is in the air. On this day there is an 80% chance you will meet your romantic soul mate; the person whose very touch makes your heart flutter, whose lips fill you with warmth; the person you will spend the rest of your life with. Unfortunately, due to a 100% chance of severe storms in your area, this fated encounter will take place during unsuccessful cardiopulmonary resuscitation after your new-found lover has extricated you from your tornado ravaged double-wide. Ah, how fickle the heart is...
WEATHER ARCHIVE
Thursday: Pleasant and sunny with a slight chance of being crushed by a meteorite the mass of a bank vault. Better be safe and take an umbrella.
Wednesday: Rainy and cold all day. Not a good time to prance about
wearing
nothing but your new suede boots. Move your prancing indoors
or wait until the weekend.
Tuesday:
Torrents of fire and brimstone shall rain from the heavens punishing
all sinful creatures. May God have
mercy upon both your soul and your one o'clock tee time.
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